The following is a guest post by Theodore Ficklestein, author of I Killed the Man Who Wrote this Book.
I realize that most if not all of you have no idea who I am, so although I am supposed to be using this post for book related topic, I will use this platform to inform you of my recent writing activity. I guess this is kind of considered a book related topic but that is really stretching it. Like those people who call golf a sport. Yeah, I walk around with a coke and smoke cigarettes all day too but you don’t see me saying that I am an athlete. What part of golf don’t people understand? Mother nature doesn’t want you hitting the ball around.
Anyway, I believe there was something about a book in here. Oh yeah, my book. Yes, you read that correctly. I wrote a book. A real book. Not one of those poetry books, that barely passes the book criteria. Sure, they had words and pages, but there was no story, so the whole thing kind of doesn’t hold up.
My first novel will be titled Day In The Life and will be out sometime next year. Gen Z Publishing will be publishing it. It is a YA book about a college student trying to find his way with his career as well as his life. It is much better than it sounds. I know, the pitch sucks.
Here is an excerpt from it.
Every story has a beginning, middle, and end. Or so I’ve been told. As I tell you this, I’ll try my best to include all three components but being the inexperienced writer that I am, I may forget some important parts that teachers preach students never to forget. Like the climax. I don’t like it. I can’t stand that I have to be told after the fact that it was the focal point of the story. Do authors think I don’t realize it’s important when a main character dies in a story? I skim most of the time when I read, but I still get the idea.
I read, well skimmed, somewhere that sarcasm is hard to understand in written form, so I suggest buying the audio of this, so that you can catch it when it pops up. That or I can tell you when I’m being sarcastic, but that defeats the purpose of it. It’s like laughing at your own joke. I hate when people on any social network leave an unfunny joke and then put “lol” at the end of it. Okay I may not have it, hate’s a little much, but it’s still a pathetic way of appreciating your unfunniness. In case you’ve been living under rock, I thought I’d tell you that “lol” means “laugh out loud”. Welcome to the Information Age, where we tell jokes one letter at a time.
Whether or not you can pick up sarcasm, you’ll probably imagine my voice being different than what I actually sound like. People do that all the time. They hear themselves recorded and deny it’s them. Because the recording device is just trying to play tricks on them. That’s all. I got fooled once too. I can’t remember when it happened but it took me a good week to realize that I sound the way I do. So when you’re reading this, just remember I don’t actually sound that way. That goes also if you are listening to an audio. Yeah that guy talking is an actor. Not me.
Narrators ruin stories with all their bullshit and words. After awhile books get boring to me. I read a whole page of words just to turn the page and find there are more words to read. The whole process gets kind of repetitive until the narrator ends it, that is. After you go through the climax then they come to a great revelation. Like the guy is lying the whole time. The whole thing is a dream and he is dead.
Like it? Well too bad. Because someone already agreed to publish it! There is even a Goodreads page for it,
I also wrote a Halloween book. And it isn’t even close to the holiday.
I have no excerpt for you for that book. You are just going to have to trust the Goodreads page on this one. Go with the good reviews. They seem to be more optimistic.
More about the author and his work: Theodore Ficklestein’s Website.